Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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