My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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