Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
