yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize