why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
