Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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