strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize