it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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