yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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