help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
