I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
