i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
