Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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