Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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