So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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