Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
