Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
