I just saw a hot homeless man
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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