I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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