but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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