I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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