can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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