So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
