do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
