Redeem this text for a blowjob
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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