It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
