the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
