like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
