remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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