I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
