so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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