my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
