your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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