did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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