C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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