On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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