Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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