matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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