i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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