I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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