I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
