youre lurking in front of me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
