dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
