He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
