nut hugger
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
