the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
