I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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