i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
