you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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