His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize