no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
