i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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