haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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