so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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