Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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