Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i out mim tonsoeep
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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