Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
