We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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