nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
