Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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