Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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